‘Technology’ Archives
iTunes breaks Vista: Linux to blame
BODDY MANSION, Hill House, Thursday (NNGadget) — iTunes 8, released with the new iPods on Tuesday, causes Blue Screens of Death on Windows Vista. Apple and Microsoft enthusiasts quickly fell to heated message board discussion of which company was to blame — but equally quickly fingered the culprit. "It's Linux. Gotta be," said Xbox [...]
Microsoft releases eight critical new security holes
BOLGIAS 8 AND 9, Redmond, Tuesday (NNGadget) — After what was expected to be an unusually quiet Patch Tuesday, Microsoft has released eight patches for applications with an insufficient number of security holes. "Our market is the enterprise," said Microsoft security marketer Jonathan Ness. "Information technology professionals know that [...]
Microsoft desperately slashes Xbox 360 price
STENCH OF DEATH, Redmond, Wednesday (NNGadget) — Microsoft has discounted the entry-level Doesn't-Do-Much Xbox 360 to $200 from Friday, $50 cheaper than the Nintendo Wii. (This will translate to a £250 price point in the UK.) "We are thrilled to be the first next-generation console on the market with a big 'Microsoft' logo on it to reach [...]
Everyone except Microsoft grits teeth, welcomes Google Chrome web browser
MOUNTAIN VIEW, Lolcat, Tuesday (NNGadget) — Google has released its own Web browser, Chrome. "We absolutely promise that we only want to completely screw over Microsoft with this, and certainly not Mozilla Firefox," said Google's Sundar Pichai. "That we put a pile of our sponsored Mozilla developers on the project is completely irrelevant. [...]
Facebook: The Awful, Awful Movie in production
TEH INTARWEB, Silicone Valley, Friday (N! News) — Aaron Sorkin, creator of The West Wing, has been contracted to write an awful, awful movie about Facebook. "I can write funny and poignant television dramas and I can work a toaster," said Sorkin. "So I thought, 'how hard can this Internet thing be?'" Facebook: The Awful, Awful Movie will [...]
Zombie Steve Jobs has system upgrade
THE TECH GRAVEYARD, Cupertino, Thursday (NNGadget) — Steve Jobs, visionary leader of Apple Computer, has died — and come back, better and stronger. The news was carried in an obituary run by Bloomberg late last night, which was pulled when news of his resurrection came through. "They don't call it the Jesus Phone for nothing," Jobs [...]
Home Office in Internet propaganda war
TEH INTARWEB, Lolcat, Tuesday (NNGadget) — Home Office counter-terrorism experts intend to exploit nu meeja websites to "channel messages through volunteers in Internet forums" as part of a campaign to "taint the al-Qaeda™ brand," according to a document accidentally posted to Wikipedia this morning. "We understand that people on [...]
Intel demonstrates wireless power for the home
INTEL CASTLE, Transylvania, Friday (NNGadget) — A future without batteries — no need to charge phones or MP3 players, or even electric cars. No lost phone chargers, no running out of power sockets. Intel chief technology officer Justin Rattner demonstrated a Wireless Energy Resonant Link as he spoke at the annual Intel developers forum [...]
Microsoft enlists Bob Hope for Vista ad campaign
MORDOR, Redmond, Thursday (NNGadget) — Microsoft (NASDAQ: MNPLY) has hired comedian Bob Hope to anchor a $300 million advertising campaign for its struggling Windows Vista franchise. The software maker is desperate to counter popular Apple ads that personify PCs as un-“hep" and not "with it," while portraying Apple's Macintosh as the [...]
