Everyone except Microsoft grits teeth, welcomes Google Chrome web browser

MOUNTAIN VIEW, Lolcat, Tuesday (NNGadget) — Google has released its own Web browser, Chrome. “We absolutely promise that we only want to completely screw over Microsoft with this, and certainly not Mozilla Firefox,” said Google’s Sundar Pichai. “That we put a pile of our sponsored Mozilla developers on the project is completely irrelevant. We’re not evil, remember.”

GScream“We are so, so happy with Google Chrome,” mumbled Mozilla CEO John Lilly through gritted teeth. “That most of our income is from Google has no bearing on me making this statement.”

Microsoft was unfazed. “Browsers don’t need to be integrated with online apps,” said marketing developer Ian Moulster. “Certainly not like the operating system … I’ll just get back to you.”

Google’s new browser will give you their web and email services, photo processing, mapping, office applications that will run in said browser and will make you a cup of tea. This is all paid for by personally-directed text ads in your tea leaves, based on analysing a DNA sample taken when you sip the tea and sending your genetic code back to Google for future targeting.

Pichai stressed that Google would maintain complete confidentiality within the marketing department of whatever the browser accessed concerning your confidential business data, bank account details, medical information and personal preferences in pornography. “We’re Google. We know where you live. In a completely not evil way. Sponsored link: Get Chrome Browsers on google.com. Or we’ll make you use Windows Live.”

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19 thoughts on “Everyone except Microsoft grits teeth, welcomes Google Chrome web browser”

  1. You trust ie6? Gawd, you are so epic fail. I am not an IE fan but I would have agreed with you if you said IE7 NOT IE6.

    You really do not know what you are talking about.

    IE7 > IE6

  2. oh yay… that’s all we need, another browser to check for compatibility with our web development. so NOT excited.

  3. Wow stalepie, at the very least you could use firefox ONE or ie7 something. Anything, just anything, is better than ie6. Personally I’d reccomend firefox 3. Google chrome seems nice, but it still feels a bit beta-ish to me.

  4. ender says: “that?s all we need, another browser to check for compatibility with our web development.” Well, no. Chrome uses the open source Webkit rendering engine / application framework, which is already used by Camino among other applications. So if your work is Safari-compatible, there should be no new issues at that level.

    And, um, you do all understand that the quotes are made up, right?

  5. I’m using IE6 right now on my computer at work, and yes, it’s awful. However I have no choice as many offices, and work places that have windows use IE and you are unable to download and use any other browsers. I see the 20% of internet users using firefox, as mainly people using their home computer. If Google are saying that chrome is directed more at eating away at the IE market, I can’t see happening. If it does take off, and does become successful, it’s probably likely that Firefox are the ones that are going to suffer. But to compete with microsoft who have already monopolised the corporate working market, then i’d say they’ve got their work cut out for them.

  6. while indeed, older and bigger companies probably won’t switch to another browser, i think that new and/or small companies will probably switch, or even start their business with google products, seeing as most MS office programs are already provided by google for free right now.

    this browser will only make it more likely people won’t use MS office in the future.

  7. @ender: Chrome’s rendering engine is based on Webkit, and Google themselves said very few modifications were made to it, I don’t see a problem there.

    Meanwhile if you’re looking for something else to complain about whilst sounding retarded (again) you could always complain that Firefox’s guts have been made into countless versions and you need to test those, but that would be just as pointless.

  8. “Chrome uses the open source Webkit rendering engine / application framework, which is already used by Camino among other applications.”

    Camino actually uses Gecko, not Webkit.

  9. i have been testing google chrome all day so far good but few thing wrong like flash keeps crashing, no rss feeds, and no way to get to favourites unless you open a new tab. but other than that looks great.

  10. I have tested Chrome a little and I found a few small rendering errors on pages that work fine under Firefox and IE7.

    No AdBlock plugin? No thanks…

    Also, the EULA is a little stiff.I still use google for search, but I am not interested in binding my browser to there search, so I’ll stick with FireFox for now.

  11. Except it’s open-source, so you can just get the source, throw away the bad code, and make your own browser. and advertise it as Chrome without the advertising!!!

  12. Um…Using the data Google collects to say I know where you live is a violation of the End Users License agreement. I think you could get a lawyer and go after Google if they tried. They can only use the data they obtain to improve their services to you nothing more.

  13. Google has a good sense of humor. Has anyone tried a location in the U.S to Europe in google maps? It used to say swim so and so miles across the Atlantic Ocean! It even leads you to a harbor first!

  14. Chrome is great. They added add-ons and now its only a matter of time. Good speed , love the tabs. Never used the search bar in IE or Firefox!

    Article is funny , thank you for writing it!

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