Neo-Nazis protest co-option of English flag by football fans

BORE CONSTRICTOR, Vulvalezza, Monday (NTN) — White nationalist activists have come forth in record numbers (ten or so) to sternly protest the usurpation of the flag of St George by football fans.

St George’s Berlin Wall“Our noble emblem and gathering point has been stolen,” said racially-aware activist Nick Tyndale, “by Zionist World Cup marketers, suburban arseholes and kids and Paki shopkeepers. They even put them on their cars! Just as if it’s normal!”

The Aryan separatists had promoted the use of the flag when forbidden much of their traditional symbology in Germany, who recently introduced laws enforcing a minimum hair length, with government-provided Bundeshaar toupées for those claiming genetic disposition to baldness or some such rubbish.

The Nazis then adopted the Celtic cross, only to have it co-opted by hippies and crusties, who had “viciously stolen our symbol five hundred years before. Commie wankers.”

Desperate, they finally resorted to a Confederate “stars’n’bars” flag. “But people kept coming up and singing Primal Scream songs at my girlfriend.”

English Hindus offered a compromise, in which they would only use a version of the St George’s flag with an extra line at right angles on the end of each arm of the cross, to resemble an ancient Jainist symbol of good luck and well wishes. “But some people protested vociferously and feigned terrible upset. They must be some awful bigoted sort of persons.”