TIDE GOES OUT, Keeps Going Out, Monday (Oh F-x) — Fox News insists that anchor Bill O’Reilly is actually called that in real life and dismisses all claims otherwise as “an orchestrated campaign by far left advocates.”
Stewart has been under fire in the past week since it came out that he had not, in fact, been present at the assassination of John F. Kennedy and gotten Presidential brains on his suit.
Colbert was also accused of inflating his recollections of the Falklands war as a young correspondent for CBS News and singlehandedly fighting his way past Argentinian forces at gunpoint, armed only with a pen clenched in his teeth, a ready wit and a conservative outlook.
A spokeswoman for Fox News declined to respond to detailed questions about Baron-Cohen’s recollections of personally fighting off hordes of looters in the Los Angeles riots. “Mr Gunston has already addressed the claims leveled against him. Although Mr Carlin did not technically witness bombings in Northern Ireland or murders in El Salvador in person, as such, he was sufficiently there in spirit for our purposes. Fox maintains its staunch support of Mr Kaufman, who is no stranger to calculated attacks on his veracity and trustworthiness.”
Lord Monckton did produce his long-form birth certificate, which clearly says “BILL O’REILLY”, scribbled in pen above the crossed-out words “Forrest Gump”.