‘Media’ Archives
Minister praises high standard of science journalism
WELL I NEVER, Do-As-You-Please, Wednesday (NotScientist) — The minister for science and innovation, Lord Paul Drayson, has praised the high standards of science journalism at the sixth World Conference of Science Journalists in London yesterday. About 900 delegates attended the conference to congratulate each other on the remarkable quality [...]
Wikipedia keeps the truth from everyone
WIKICITIES, Helmand, Monday (NNN) — The kidnapping of Pulitzer Prize-winning New York Times journalist David Rohde in Afghanistan was suppressed not only by almost all press syndicates but also by Wikipedia, on the direct command-and-control orders of Jimbo Wales, who is personally responsible for every word in the popular web-based [...]
Fear of Microsoft Bob Hope grips Google
WAGGENER EDSTROM, Portland, Sunday (NNGadget) — Sergey Brin of Google is "deeply rattled" by the launch of Microsoft's Bob Hope search engine, according to a scoop printed in the New York Post, courtesy Microsoft public relations. "New search engines have come and gone in the past ten years, but Bob Hope really has Sergey just crapping [...]
English acquires its millionth word: “bollocks”
GOSH, Well I never, Thursday (NNN) — English has now acquired its millionth word, "bollocks," according to Global Language Monitor, a website monitoring the extraordinary emergence of new English throughout the world. "The Million Word milestone brings to notice the coming of age of English as the first truly global language," said Paul [...]
Murdoch: the free Internet is over
ISENGARD, Wapping, Monday (NNN) — Rupert Murdoch, speaking out on the news business, stated today that "the Internet free access model is clearly malfunctioning, as I don't make enough money from it." Media commentators fear for the future of investigative journalism. "How can we hold governments' feet to the fire without money to pay our [...]
Newspapers to go behind paywall
HOLD THE PRESSES, Daily Asteroid, After The News (NNN) — Hearst newspapers will be holding back content from their papers' free websites, instead charging for some digital news and information. "We are fully confident that both readers and Google will come to the party and give us money," said Hearst president Steven Swartz, "and not just [...]
Phorm phights phoul phreedom phighters
W 40th STREET, New York 10018, Tuesday (NNN) — Beleaguered Internet advertising phirm Phorm is hitting back at critics with StopPhoulPlay.com, in an attempt to lure Internet activists into herniating from laughter. "It is clear that the campaign against Phorm originates in the sinister manipulations of Alex Hanff and Marcus Williamson," [...]
Government shocked, shocked at Ross and Brand
MINISTRY OF BURLESQUE, Church of Satin, Saturday (NNN) — The Government today expressed its "outrage" that Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand could not personally be forced to pay the £150,000 fine against the BBC for their prank calls to Andrew Sachs. Thousands of complaints were filed with Ofcom after the Daily Mail figured it would be [...]
Guardian wants free money from Google
GRUB STREET RETIREMENT VILLAGE, Times Old Roman, back when this were all fields (Mediocre Grauniad) — The Guardian Media Group has asked the Government to examine Google News and other content aggregators, claiming they contribute insufficiently to their income. "The newspapers put their content up on the web for free and then Google, the [...]
Doom warnings reach “doom warning” level
OMG, Onoez, every day (NNN) — Civilisation is facing imminent doom from dirty bomb attacks, a credit crisis, a cash crisis and morning-after pills for 11-year-old underclass children. Further harbingers of the end of all things include your teeth being rotted out of your head by eating five pieces of fruit a day, NHS superbugs that mutter [...]
