‘Defence’ Archives
Taliban publicises new “cute fluffy kittens” code of conduct
AFGHANISTAN TRANSIT TRADE, Helmand, Friday (NNN) — The Taliban has issued a code of conduct for its operations in Afghanistan and Pakistan. The code notes that "suicide attacks are not 'right on' and the Prophet probably wouldn't have been that keen on them. Instead, be pleasant to people and make good and sincere friends with them, like [...]
Cyber attack could bring US military response
SNOW CRASH, The Metaverse, Wednesday (NNGadget) — US Air Force General Kevin Chilton, head of US Strategic Command, has said that attacks on the United States via the Internet could merit a conventional military response. "I don’t think you take anything off the table. We're particularly looking toward one group in Seattle." The [...]
Disks full of porn “sold to military”
MELLIE, Newcastle, Thursday (NNN) — Gigabytes and gigabytes of pornography and highly sensitive login details for gentleman's art sites were bought by a US military missile air defence base second-hand on eBay. The collected fine artworks of young women in a state of natural aesthetic presentation were found on a hard disk for the SPLORT [...]
North Korea demands UN apology
KIM'S HAPPY PLACE, Pyongyang, Wednesday (NNN) — North Korea has threatened to carry out nuclear missile tests unless the UN Security Council apologises for its "unseemly snickering" at their recent rocket launch falling into the sea. "The communications satellite was successfully launched and is fulfilling its mission, sending transmissions [...]
Al-Qaeda PR man convicted in fair and speedy trial
NOVEMBER SURPRISE, Pennsylvania, Monday (NNN) — Ali Hamza al-Bahlul, accused of being Osama Bin Laden's media secretary, has been convicted by a US military jury at the Guantánamo Bay detention centre. He is the second prisoner to face a war crimes trial under a specially-created system of military commissions that Republican [...]
Defence minister refutes claims of inadequate equipment in Afghanistan
DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC-PRIVATE PARTNERSHIP, Whitehall.co.uk, Saturday (NNN) — Defence and equipment minister Quentin Bailey has said he is "horrified" by accusations the government has been "cavalier" with soldiers' lives by not giving them proper equipment. "I recently visited Afghanistan," said Mr Davies, "and 100 per cent of those selected [...]
