GOSH, Well I Never, Monday (NNN) — In a completely expected occurrence, it snowed in winter today, providing Britain — that is to say, London — with the trivial excuse it needed to shut down entirely.
Everyone has called in working from home and not skiving and looking at porn all day, no no. The only workers expected to show up are the pathological corporate whores. “I bet the economy loses millions because everyone’s late into work,” said some utterly workbroken and friendless City drone under the delusion that anyone gave a damn or didn’t want him dead.
“This ‘nanny’ state is so mollycodled it cant think for itself any longer!” said BBC Have Your Say commentator Boris Busybody, East Cheam. “Its Nu-Labour terrists an the unions. STRING EM UP ITS THE ONLY LANGAGE THEYLL UNDERSTAND.”
Things should be normal by Friday with it pissing down rain, which everyone can cope with. Except train companies.