The Gordon Brown inauguration

BOLGIAS 8 AND 9, Westminster, Tuesday (NNN) — Tens of people have gathered in the British capital to see Gordon Hussein Brown (name changed last week by deed poll) sworn at in as Britain’s second president.

The Audacity of HopelessCrowds inexplicably failed to pack into the Parliamentary gallery from dawn in a cold and wintry London to witness the opening of Parliament. The President arrived in his official Robin Reliant to deliver his inaugural address, a twenty-minute speech focusing on the theme of everything having gone to shit and Mr Brown being the one to get us out of it, having gotten us into it.

Unprecedented security is in place, with two or three security personnel, all called Reg, on stand-by in Westminster. Security officials said they were monitoring a “potential threat” of “uncertain credibility” on inauguration day.

Across the UK, there is a sense of history being made. Gloomy Monday; house prices dropping; terrible weather; a new Doctor Who; Celebrity Big Brother; the X Factor Christmas number one. Anticipation has been building across the country ahead of the ceremony.

But Mr Brown faces serious challenges. The UK is gripped by uncertainty as it faces its worst crisis in decades. And as well as Peter Mandelson being back, the economy’s in the toilet and everyone’s broke.

But hope rises still. In a gesture of good cheer, the Chancellor has announced the introduction to the market of special duty-free Labour Party fundraising refreshments of rebranded White Lightning and Tennants Super.

George W. Bush has also been in touch with Number 10, letting them know he’s currently free to join Mr Brown’s Government of All the Talents. Lord Mandelson said he would definitely process Mr Bush’s application within the next several years.

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4 thoughts on “The Gordon Brown inauguration”

  1. Well, you’ve got to look on the bright side. At least it’s not Anthony Hilter Bliar. And the new economy measures should be fun. Hanging an MP everyday until christmas is a great idea. We even get to select who it will be via a BBC phone-in. Great I say. It gives me the feeling of participating in my country’s actions. Although the increased BBC tv tax, 50% of my mortgage is a bit much, but it’s worth it. The BBC is the epitome of fine, grandstanding propaganda. Excellent. Well done

  2. David
    a cautionary note of thanks. I say cautionary because it might transpass that I will be expected to comment further on our ludicrously incompetent government further for your undoubted pleasure. Now, whilst this maybe okay in some quarters, everything has to be seen to be done properly, professionally even – please send the cheque to my country manor, in the country.

    I must also say that I sometimes have great difficulty reading your 2 word verification – god, not, that I’m an Oxbridge Circus Don don’t you know – no, it’s not always clear to me, likie this one in fact. Anyway, about tomorrows story, I have been tipped off that you could run with the economy – hell, Gordon does…..

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