THE CHAPS, Hooray Club, Friday (NNN) — A member of the Young Conservatives has been expelled after going to a “bad taste” party dressed as a Young Conservative.
Young Conservative Matthew Lewis not only dressed up as a Tory, but bragged about it on his Arsebook page, saying he only needed “stockings and suspenders, a bin bag on my head and a tangerine in my mouth” to complete his outfit.
“There was a brief moment when I thought I might have gone too far with the costume, but it was OK — someone else went as Maggie Thatcher.”
Tory leader David Cameron had only a week before laid down new rules to avoid embarrassing gaffes by party activists.
“I fully understand the pain my actions have brought,” said Mr Lewis. “Dave says we have to act like fluffy greenie Lib Dems or something in public, at least where people can see us.”
“This offensive behaviour is not only shocking but intolerable and completely unacceptable,” said party chair Caroline Spelman. “There is no place for this sort of person in the party. He should look to his betters as an example, such as Prince Har— … I’ll start again, shall I.”
“The public will think long and hard before trusting anyone who acts like a Tory with their votes,” said ex-Prime Minister Tony Blair, to sniggers.