Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac taken over by Federal government

HORSETRADER’S, Beltway, Sunday (NNN) — The small-goverment Republican Presidential administration, whose fundamental economic belief is to allow the free market to reach solutions without official interference, has nationalized the giant Fannie Mae (FNM.PK) and Freddie Mac (FRE.PK) mortgage associations, placing them under the control of the Federal Housing Finance Agency.

Foreclosed mortgagees for McCain“This is absolutely within our ideology,” said Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson. “We have a lot of money in those markets ourselves, you know.

“We owe it all to the bedrock of our economy: the ordinary hard-working taxpayer. You resisted the siren call of credit cards, lived within your means to save for a rainy day, never took out an interest-only mortgage, credit score to make Jesus cry. Without taking every penny you saved over the $100,000 guarantee, we’d never have made it. And the best bit is, we know you’ll still vote Republican! God bless you all!”

The hideously biased liberal mainstream media has continued to help, running a steady stream of pro-spending, pro-creditor news stories supporting a prop under house price speculation.

President Bush has recruited his brother Neil as a consultant, after Neil’s expert involvement in the savings and loan collapses of the late 1980s. “I can’t believe he got clean away with that one.”

Mr Bush stressed his commitment to his core constituency. “The bankers and Wall Street traders. Just because you showed ridiculous incompetence in lending doesn’t mean that you, and the hideously exposed like me, don’t deserve a second chance. God bless America! And its hard-working backbone! And there’s still their pensions for next time!”

Get daily email alerts of new NewsTechnica! Come on, sign up willya?

2 thoughts on “Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac taken over by Federal government”

  1. I though this was a satire site!
    This article is closer to the truth of the situation than any of the vacuous shite I’ve read in the last couple of weeks

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *