STRATFORD INTERSTELLAR, Olympic Wasteland, Friday (NNN) — Angry commuters on the Central Line, fed up with morning rush hour delays, have set a train on fire and pelted it with rocks.
The government has blamed the incident on leftist activists, after Mayor of London Boris Johnson raised the most popular fares 11% despite somehow claiming an average increase of 6%.
Mayor-In-Exile Ken Livingstone rallied his remaining followers by short-wave radio from his Venezuelan mountain cave this evening. “Boris has made a complete hash of it as usual. But I shall return. This is my promise: I will never give you up. I will never let you down. I will never run around or desert you.”
Johnson said the incident had caused £4m in damage, and saved £8m in compensation that would otherwise have been paid to season ticket holders for late running. “We’re thinking of timetabling them every weekday,” he said.