MONOLITH VIEW, Silicone Valley, Thursday (NTN) — We’re in a new world of computing. You need “personal”, “social” and “on the go”. So “search” will “join the social” on Google Plus.
We know Search has a devoted following who will be very sad to see it go. We’re sad too. There are two simple reasons for this: usage of Google Plus Search has declined, and as a company we’re pouring all of our energy into fewer products. We think that kind of focus will make for a better — and more sociable — user experience.
It’s been a long time since we’ve had this rate of change — it probably hasn’t happened since the birth of social media in July 2011, with our superior social media platform, Google Plus. So today we’re officially folding a number of other products into Google Plus:
- YouTube will become Google Plus Video. Your YouTube will be just the same, you’ll just need a username you have government ID for. Don’t worry — you can trust us with it.
- Google Maps API will become Google Plus Maps. You’ll need to add your house, your workplace, your favourite retail experiences and your credit card number to your “circles”, then you can look up any place you want. You can opt out to Apple Maps any time you like.
- Google Docs got absorbed by Google Drive, which will become Google SUM(). Imagine the “social” of your spreadsheets being rated by all your friends! Once again, users who opt out are free to revel in the joys of Office 365.
- Google Voice App for BlackBerry will be discontinued once we’ve found both remaining BlackBerry users and notified them.
- Orkut, of course, is being kept.
We know you’ll be delighted with the Google Plus experience, with hundreds of millions of people every month delighted to be using Google Plus! Or products that require a profile on it. It’s like Facebook without all the annoying people on it. Or any people. But the people on it love it with huge enthusiasm, just like the ones who loved Google Buzz before we shot that through the head too. Come onto Plus, or Vic will cry. You don’t want to see Vic crying, do you? Asshole. You probably hurt puppies, too.
To ensure a smooth transition, we’re providing a three-month sunset period so you have sufficient time to find an alternate web-searching solution. Good luck on that one. Because, and you know it in your heart, Google Plus as a search engine still sucks less than Bing.
Where am I? Why can’t I click a thumb button?
‘Cos I haven’t set the five-star rating thing up again yet ;-)
Five-star ratings back! Are you not entertained?