YOUR DESK, Turing Tarpit, Monday (NTN) — Facebook has outraged thousands of obsessive shirkplace F5-pressers by changing its layout from the layout it changed to after the layout before that.
The change has met a storm of protest from users going so far as to click “Join This Group,” with nearly two million people with, apparently, nothing whatsoever to do that they’re actually being paid to stepping forward to demand that Facebook switch back to the layout before the last one, or the one before that.
“This new format makes absolutely no sense at all,” said aggrieved office administrator Brenda Busybody, 43 (IQ), who had said the same thing each of the last three times it changed. “There’s, like, all this stuff all over the place. It’s not like the old one at all … ooh, that’s interesting, I hadn’t seen that before.”
The users vowed to continue their campaign assiduously for at least a day or two, in between working on their imaginary farm or joining “I Bet I Can Find A Million People Who Believe In Facebook Petitions Before June” or observably not giving two hoots about handing their personal details, fingerprints, DNA and probably first-born to Facebook’s advertisers if it meant they could get thirty coins on Petville.
Facebook engineer Jing Chen explained on the company blog how the changes had been extensively tested on the 599.5 million Facebook users who hadn’t joined such groups, and that he hoped everyone who wasn’t a whiny little bitch would appreciate the new experience. “There’s really nothing quite like the complaints of someone getting something for free that what they’re getting for free just isn’t perfect enough. It’s what makes Monday Monday.”