Successor to MP3 does less, worse, at higher price

KOMPUTERWELT, Trans Europe Excess, Monday (NTN) — Karlheinz Brandenburg, the 1990 inventor of MP3, has come up with its successor format, MusicDNA, which is the same except it doesn’t work because of DRM.

Microsoft Zune “Anus” logoThe MusicDNA format will see not just songs, but lyrics, video, artwork, weblogs and a whacking pile of DRM in all your music. “Not only will you be more connected to the artist as they spam you with a metric arseload of advertising, you’ll be able to buy the song over and over again just to keep listening to it.”

The service provides users up to 32GB of bonus content per track. “It will be dynamically updatable, so the user can keep getting new stuff. Of course, the record companies would never take this opportunity to erase all your music when they feel like it.”

MusicDNA files are expected to cost more than MP3s, as the value equation in paying real money for an insubstantial virtual download of ones and zeroes is obviously entirely comparable and people should expect to pay a premium to be advertised to. “I can’t wait for my MP3 player to send all my personal information to someone who can then spam me with targeted ads,” said Fraunhofer stock photo model KT Myspce. “How ‘fab’ and ‘bling!'”

A beta version of the service will be available this spring, with the full experience likely to be rolled out in the summer, at which point MusicDNA will join MP3Pro (the previous anointed successor to MP3), HD-DVD, MiniDiscs, Digital Compact Cassette and Betamax. Linux users will keep telling people to use Oggs.

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