CASHIER’S DESK, Parliament.co.uk, Friday (NNN) — Conservatives indicated disquiet today with a candidate who was not working as a lobbyist with a public relations firm on the side.

With its new emphasis on the necessity of more efficient government in these straitened times, the party has 140 prospective Tory candidates likely to be elected who work as lobbyists, many having started in the job after their selection. “Greater transparency is needed to help ensure high standards in public life,” said David Cameron, himself a former public relations person. “So we’ll be making a standard price list openly available.”

When so much of the Conservative manifesto remains unwritten, many seek to shape it. But so many Tory candidates working in PR poses a particularly awkward problem for Mr Cameron. “Public relations people aren’t noted for coherent thought, ability to write in a way that doesn’t immediately hit spam filters or, indeed, just not making you want to strangle them,” he said today. “That said, I do believe we could run a dog turd in a suit and tie against Labour and win. So we’re running several.”

Gordon Brown said this was typical of the “Bullingdonian running dogs” of the Conservative Party. “People want deep knowledge and appreciate honesty. It’s not all a shiny smiling face and telly sincerity. Just look at my ratings against those of Cameron or Tony Blair … arse.”