MINISTRY OF BURLESQUE, Church of Satin, Saturday (NNN) — The Government today expressed its “outrage” that Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand could not personally be forced to pay the £150,000 fine against the BBC for their prank calls to Andrew Sachs.

Thousands of complaints were filed with Ofcom after the Daily Mail figured it would be a handy front-page outrage for a couple of weeks.

Communities Secretary Hazel Blears said she thought the stars should be made to pay the penalty themselves. “Surely whatever will play well with the Daily Mail is what the good people of this country want. These ‘laws’ only get in the way of doing what is right … this week.”

“This is much more shocking than Fred Goodwin’s pension or ministerial expenses,” said Jacqui Smith. “Particularly mine. Pitchforks and torches that way! Not this way!”

“Hellooo, still mortified and stuff!” said Georgina Baillie. “Oy! Over here! Look, tits! God, I’m never going to be back in Nuts at this rate.”

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