THE ONLY PLACE TO BE, The Happening Place, Saturday (NNN) — Karl Lagerfeld, CEO of Chanel, said it was “childish” to even discuss the issue of wearing fur in a world where eating meat was normal. “Hunters kill those beasts who would kill us if they could. Mink are the least of it. Badgers, mushrooms, snakes … their malice is famed.”

He admitted to being queasy about eating meat. “But I do it because of how much I hate cows. That innocent-looking Satanic beast, sitting there, chewing its cud, just waiting for its moment. I hated that Yves St Laurent fucker, but not so much I’d kill him, eat his flesh and wear his skin on my back as a trophy. Probably.”

PETA pointed out that “the vast majority of fur these days comes not from hunters as he suggests, but from Chinese fur farms.” Lagerfeld suggested similar farms to produce size zero models. “The size zero issue is insignificant compared to the zillions of fat people. We provide much-needed balance and a good example to provide ambition for young people. In a time of recession, dreams are important. And size zero is so much more attainable now.”

Models saw a chance at publicity by disagreeing with Lagerfeld’s comments, with the new I’d Rather Get In The Papers For Having My Tits And Arse On Show Than Wear Fur, Until Next Season Anyway campaign.