WIKIFIDDLE, Brass Eye, Sunday (NNN) — The Internet Watch Foundation, protectors of the British citizenry against uncceptable material on teh intarweb, have declared Wikipedia illegal in the UK.
Several police forces had advised the IWF concerning the site, swearing their actions had nothing to do with anything in the site about senior policemen or their behaviour.
“The fourth most popular website in the world is an encyclopedia,” said IWF Oberstürmgrüppenwhitehouse Myra Hindley. “What sort of message does that send about the youth of today? They should be using mobile phones, dealing drugs, smoking cracks to ‘jazz’ music in discos and knifing each other in the streets. God help us if they see record covers!”
Police across the country used sophisticated hammer-detecting equipment to swoop on the homes of rumoured Wikipedophiles. All computers, mobile phones, televisions and any technology more sophisticated than scissors will be confiscated for investigation, and will be returned in due process in twelve to eighteen months when the filthy fucking nonces have been brought to trial, assuming they survive multiple beatings in jail.
“Fuck these filthy fucking fuckers,” said Zoe fucking Hilton of the NSPCC. “And give us money, or you’re a filthy fucking kiddie fucker yourself. Turd.”
“We absolutely won’t be adapting the system to discussion of ID cards,” said Home Secretary Jacqui Smith. “Nor will MPs raising the issue have their offices or homes raided. Probably.”
Virgin Media users had failed to notice any difference, assuming the connection problems were service as normal, and went back to watching the football except for the last ten minutes of the game.
Get daily email alerts of new NewsTechnica!