Drug firms deny pricing for profit

NASTIE, Nice, Monday (NNN) — The Association of the British Pharmaceutical Industry (ABPI) has poured scorn on Prof Sir Michael Rawlins of the National Institute for Clinical Excellence (NICE) after he accused them of profiteering on drugs.

“I am shocked, shocked — oh, my cheque? Thank you! — at the notion they could be profiteering on drugs,” said Stephen Pollard of completely independent thinktank Centre for the New Europe. “As well as saving lives, drug companies eliminated communism and brought the downfall of the North Korean dictatorship, entirely through the marketing of little blue pills guaranteed to give you an erection. Research budgets are up to nearly half the marketing budgets, giving humanity such boons as V1k@grk@, Rogaine, Spanish Fly — the list is endless.”

Professor Rawlins stridently maintained his position that the “postcode lottery” for cancer treatments, where any patient with a letter or number in their postcode gets nothing, was not their doing. “It was the drug companies’ prices that killed all those cancer patients! Them! Them! Not us!”

NICE’s approach attempts to deal with the problem at the heart of the NHS: patients and their need for care, which can seriously affect waiting times for managerial bonuses and privately-funded infrastructure subsidies. Local doctors will be reducing levels of service and berating and belittling patients who refuse to cease unhealthy habits such as buying food they can afford, living in a city or being too poor to pay for BUPA. Viagra remains, of course, available free on the NHS.

2 thoughts on “Drug firms deny pricing for profit”

  1. I am shocked I tell ya. Those nasty pharma companies are just pure evil they is. Getting all those nice folks addicted to those horrifying drugs and such. Addiction really is profitable for them. Repeat customers and all. Never gonna lose one of those for some time. And my! my! the profits they make on them poor lost souls are just staggering. They even comes up with fake illnesses and of course a nice profitable drug to go with it. They actually pays them Dr.s to come up with em. Go figure the strategies they uses on them poor souls who get coerced into taking them. But hey what does the public actually know? They are lied to all the time. Even the FDA lies or hides the truth from people.
    Even the politicians get pay offs from the Drug Companies.
    They even have come up with them methods to brainwash Dr.s into promoting their toxic waste for them. Go Figure. Well dang if it don’t works really well. But I am just and uneducated bumbling idiot so what do I know? But I tell ya talking to one of those poor lost souls that is on them dang drugs can be mind boggling. Some of them don’t knows if they is coming or going. Boy is they stoned. Whats turbly scary is they is out there drivin on the roads and probably working for folks where saftey is a factor and ya know when you is working on dangerous machinery and such being stoned is an asset I bet. Anyways that’s me rant fur the day.

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