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Chuck Norris facts, updated

  • Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked gay marriage, and fell flat on his ass.
  • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He’s worrying about gay marriage.
  • Chuck Norris’ tears cure gay marriage. Too bad for him he never cries.
  • There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only the quivering fear of gay marriage.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t do pushups — he might accidentally get gay-married.
  • When Chuck Norris goes to sleep every night, he would check his closet for gay marriage, if he had a closet.
  • Chuck Norris does not go opposing gay marriage, because the word “opposing” implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris already failed to stop gay marriage.
  • Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil to stop gay marriage. When the deal had been done, the devil gay-married him.
  • If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. Tell him how fabulous gay marriage is.

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