KENYA, Indonesia, Wednesday (WorldNetDaily) — Barack Obama’s alleged long-form birth certificate has been declared fraudulent by the noble and patriotic “Birther” movement, who claim firm evidence that the President is insufficiently white.

“I’ve seen a few Photoshops in my time,” said immigrant Birther and world’s oldest emo kid Orly Taitz. “I can tell from a few of the pixels. They’re nowhere near light enough.”

Donald Trump, the next Sarah Palin, takes credit for provoking the release of this initial documentation of the mysterious Obama, and has now asked if Obama’s college transcript is all that, and something about basketball as the President’s favourite pastime. Betting pools are now forming on when Trump will allude to watermelon and fried chicken.

Birthers are routinely outraged at suggestions that blatant racism is at the heart of their disquiet with Obama’s landslide victory in the 2008 presidential election. So it’s really worth saying it to them, every time.

The Birther movement was originally started by Party Unity My Ass, a group of disgruntled Hillary Clinton supporters during the 2008 Democratic primary. They note that Obama has, on his track record so far, been a first-class Republican president.