TELEVISION OUTSKIRTS, Off-White City, Thursday (MSBBC) — Microsoft National Party leader Windows 7 has insisted it was “not Vista” during its first appearance on the BBC’s Question Time.

The political discussion programme was recorded as Macintosh and Linux campaigners protested outside Television Centre. The BBC maintained Windows 7 deserved representation on the programme for having outsold its closest direct competitor, a Harry Potter book from a couple of years ago.

Windows 7 was booed at the start of the recording and accused of having “malware politics” as it was attacked by fellow panelists and the audience. Its opposition to immigration from Windows XP was also controversial.

Windows 7 said it was not out to viciously kill other operating systems and, when David Dimbleby asked if it denied that the monopoly abuse happened, merely smiled and said that it had never actually been penalised for monopoly abuse. It also denied that it had said that “Bill Gates went a bit too far,” despite having been captured on video saying so. It merely advocated Microsoft Nationalism, such as the classic Microsoft national diet of lard, lard, lard and a bit more lard on top.

It said it had been “demonised” and repeatedly denied doing things which have been attributed to Vista. It attributed photos of it wearing a T-shirt saying “The Wow™ starts NOW!” to youthful foolishness. Windows 7 also decried the leak of Microsoft’s latest dismal quarterly results on Wikileaks, saying the contents were complete fiction and a breach of private matters between the Microsoft National Party and the financial authorities.

But it claimed its popularity was vastly increasing and mentioned a report it had commissioned saying that two-thirds of UK business would move to Windows 7 by the year 2100. Probably.