Michael Jackson dies, apparently

OFF THE PERCH, Thriller, History (N! News) — The entire Internet melted last night as Michael Jackson wreaked celebrity revenge upon it, with Wikipedia, LiveJournal, Facebook and Twitter giving “service unavailable” errors and NewsTechnica getting another page hit.

Michael Jackson kicks the bucketMr Jackson also got his own back on the media, with TMZ getting the scoop on his death and everyone else reporting it second-hand in a manner that showed they didn’t quite believe them.

“We are utterly distraught and inconsolable about Mr Jackson’s death,” said Sony-BMG, as Michael Jackson albums occupied the top fifteen positions on the Amazon CD sales chart.

The O2 Arena will be running a thirty-night Michael Jackson tribute, with only fifteen minutes’ less Michael Jackson each night than was originally contracted. “People may wish to hold on to the tickets as absolutely irreplaceable final souvenirs,” said a spokesweasel, “rather than returning them for a refund or anything foolish like that.”

The Twitter and Facebook websites were rendered particularly crippled under a flood of Michael Jackson jokes:

  • Why did Michael Jackson cross the road? He didn’t, he was dead.
  • What did Michael Jackson say to the children? Nothing, he was dead.
  • How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? He doesn’t, he’s dead.
  • What did Farrah Fawcett say when she heard Michael Jackson had died straight after her? Nothing, she was dead.

“I’m appalled at the fuss over Michael Jackson,” said Canberra taxi driver Peter Mackay. “So he died. Get over it. He’ll be back on Sunday, yeah?”

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2 thoughts on “Michael Jackson dies, apparently”

  1. Peter Mackay is a disgusting fool, I guess he will leave the world a whole lot when he dies after his great career as a taxi driver.

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