PHONING IT IN, Helmand, Monday (N! News) — Television novelty gnomes Ant and Dec have survived a Taliban rocket attack at Kandahar airfield in Afghanistan.
The duo had been sent to cheer up the troops, the government having considered them just the tonic for soldiers who had been through a series of violent, confusing and emotionally-shattering ordeals. “I thought it odd that some of the Taliban attackers were wearing England football shirts and shouting Arabic phrases that — and this is really funny — sounded like ‘Fook off you Geordie wankers.’ Amazing coincidence.”
Their agent is currently taking offers not to make a celebrity sex tape available. Verne Troyer has already threatened to sue for trademark infringement. The lines are open right now at £1.50 a minute.
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