‘Finance’ Archives
Pope raps on global financial crisis
VATICAN RAG, Rome, Monday (NNN) — The global financial crisis is proof that the pursuit of money and success is pointless, Pope Benedict XVI has told the Twelfth Ordinary General Assembly of the Synod of Bishops in Rome. "Those who seek success, career or money are building on sand. They should look instead to the Church and build on the [...]
Organ donation hallmark of a “caring City”
SOYLENT GREY, London EC1, Monday (NNN) — The Organ Donation Taskforce has delivered its report to the Department of Health, recommending presumed consent and an opt-out system for organ donations, particularly from surplus bankers. The "Banks for Banks" initiative was launched with tremendous fanfare today as a group of newly-redundant [...]
Grand Theft Auto: Wall Street released to controversy
BELTWAY, Liberty City, Sunday (NNN) — The new Wall Street Wars version of controversial video game Grand Theft Auto will let players deal sub-prime mortgages to earn in-game cash. GTA: Wall Street is a significant advance in game technology, bringing the famous Red Ring Of Death to Microsoft Excel and thus giving PC gamers the advantages [...]
Your house is still worthless
THE HOUSING MARKET, Upstairs Flat Behind The Fish Renderer's, Monday (NNN) — The house price crash has affected homes at all levels, says freelance itinerant labour force reservist Foul Ole Bob, of Cardboard City. "My box was appreciating at ten thousand quid a week last year. Now it's worth 50p. My life savings gone up in credit crunch!" [...]
