EVERY DAY IS LIKE FRIDAY, The Pub, Thursday (NTN) — Journalists across Britain and the world excelled themselves with initially-plausible but unbelievable spoof stories today, including ones where Gordon Brown was prime minister.

The hilarious tales of improbable mirth have included all manner of jocular punchlines:

• “The Tories are putting forward George Osborne as their Chancellor.”
• “The Republicans are really that genuinely, certifiably batshit insane.”
• “Labour will push through a bill in the pre-election washup that shuts down the Internet because the record companies asked them to.”
• “Luscious Lucy, 19, of Sheppey, actually said the things she’s quoted with on page 3.”
• “Pope apologises over child abuse by priests, but blames the gays.”
• “The bankers are terribly sorry.”
• “Perth.”

“It’s terribly distracting,” said Robert Peston. “People could believe these things and tell all their friends on Twitter before they realise. In any case, ‘April Fools’ is a terribly unproductive drain on the economy and was probably invented by Polish asylum seekers.”

“There was one where I’d shut the Times down from Google,” said Rupert Murdoch, “but that was just too silly to put in.”