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	<title>NewsTechnica</title>
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	<description>a smashed keyboard full of hope and wonder</description>
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		<title>Spring clean: Google Search now part of Google Plus</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2013/03/14/spring-clean-google-search-now-part-of-google-plus/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2013/03/14/spring-clean-google-search-now-part-of-google-plus/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 14 Mar 2013 21:33:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Technology]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=3687</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[MONOLITH VIEW, Silicone Valley, Thursday (NTN) &#8212; We’re in a new world of computing. You need &#8220;personal&#8221;, &#8220;social&#8221; and &#8220;on the go&#8221;. So &#8220;search&#8221; will &#8220;join the social&#8221; on Google Plus. We know Search has a devoted following who will be very sad to see it go. We’re sad too. There are two simple reasons [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Archbishop: &#8220;Christmas is all about the bumsex&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2012/12/25/archbishop-christmas-is-all-about-the-bumsex/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2012/12/25/archbishop-christmas-is-all-about-the-bumsex/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 25 Dec 2012 13:39:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=3667</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[THE RECTORY, Arsenal, Christmas (NTN) &#8212; The Archbishop of Westminster, Vincent Nichols, has spent Midnight Mass, the second most important service of the year, talking about bumsex, bumsex and bumsex. &#8220;Marriage between men and women shares in the creative love of God. Everything else is bumsex. Bumsex! Bumsex! Whatever you do, don&#8217;t think about bumsex. [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2012/12/25/archbishop-christmas-is-all-about-the-bumsex/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Murdered children necessary to protect your freedom</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2012/12/18/murdered-children-necessary-to-protect-your-freedom/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2012/12/18/murdered-children-necessary-to-protect-your-freedom/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 18 Dec 2012 00:04:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Defence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United States]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=3645</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[NEWTOWN, Connecticut, Sunday (NTN) &#8212; Responsible gun owners have to fight back against the atheist liberal Obamunist Euro-weenie homosexuals who think murdered leftist children in any way justify taking away our guns, the fountain of our liberty. The Community-Organizer-In-Chief wants to take your guns, yes, yours, so he can finally bring his black jackboot down [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2012/12/18/murdered-children-necessary-to-protect-your-freedom/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Chuck Norris facts, updated</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2012/10/30/chuck-norris-facts-updated/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2012/10/30/chuck-norris-facts-updated/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Oct 2012 15:58:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United States]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=3618</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked gay marriage, and fell flat on his ass. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He&#8217;s worrying about gay marriage. Chuck Norris’ tears cure gay marriage. Too bad for him he never cries. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only the quivering fear of gay marriage. Chuck Norris doesn’t [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2012/10/30/chuck-norris-facts-updated/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Google opens first retail store</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2011/10/02/google-opens-first-retail-store/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2011/10/02/google-opens-first-retail-store/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 02 Oct 2011 11:17:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Technology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=3589</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[COURT ROAD, Tottenham, Friday (NTN) &#8212; Internet advertising agency Google is opening its first retail store, selling the Internet-only Chromebook. &#8220;We&#8217;ve put a lot of effort into making it feel welcoming, homely and, dare I say it, &#8216;Googley&#8217;,&#8221; said Arvind Desikan, head of consumer marketing. The revolutionary shopping experience leverages Google&#8217;s famous abilities in customer [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2011/10/02/google-opens-first-retail-store/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Bing Minus to &#8220;cut off Facebook&#8217;s air supply&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2011/07/03/bing-minus-to-cut-off-facebooks-air-supply/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2011/07/03/bing-minus-to-cut-off-facebooks-air-supply/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 02 Jul 2011 23:49:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Technology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United States]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=3582</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[YESLER WAY, Seattle, Saturday (MSBBC) &#8212; Microsoft today stealth-released its new social network, Bing Minus, automatically adding every person in the world still using Internet Explorer, such as your mother. The Bing Minus software was distributed Friday morning in an automatic urgent mandatory critical Windows security update. It will also be available on Windows Phone [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Authorities definitely closing in on LulzSec</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2011/06/22/authorities-definitely-closing-in-on-lulzsec/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2011/06/22/authorities-definitely-closing-in-on-lulzsec/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 22 Jun 2011 13:45:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Technology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United States]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=3562</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[DRAMATICA, Wackyleeks, Wednesday (textfiles.com) &#8212; The noose is tightening on LulzSec, oh yes it is, with a red-handed capture nearly almost imminent, said FBI Media Liaison today, and don&#8217;t you worry about that. The drug-running terrorist paedophile probably-Chinese-government members of LulzSec have used their horrifying and &#8220;l33t&#8221; &#8220;Internet Relay Chat&#8221; skills (or &#8220;sk1llz0r,&#8221; as &#8220;hackers&#8221; [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2011/06/22/authorities-definitely-closing-in-on-lulzsec/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Guardian falls to &#8220;BeautifulPeople&#8221; virus</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2011/06/20/guardian-falls-to-beautifulpeople-virus/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2011/06/20/guardian-falls-to-beautifulpeople-virus/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 Jun 2011 15:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Media]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=3527</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[PAGE 3, Channel 5, Monday (N! News) &#8212; They were built for the publication of &#8220;actual news content,&#8221; where editors ruthlessly excluded churnalised press releases. But today a brain virus attacked and a hideous wave of bollocks flooded newspapers already losing a fortune. The virus was quickly named &#8220;BeautifulPeople.com&#8221; &#8212; after the website about how [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2011/06/20/guardian-falls-to-beautifulpeople-virus/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Bitcoin to revolutionise the economy</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2011/06/18/bitcoin-to-revolutionise-the-economy/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2011/06/18/bitcoin-to-revolutionise-the-economy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 18 Jun 2011 15:31:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Finance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Technology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United States]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=3490</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Bitcoin is a decentralised computer currency designed by self-righteous Ayn Rand-reading nerds who despise looters and parasites like, er, you. It is used to purchase Internet services, illegal drugs and pictures of naked women holding video cards. Bitcoin works by an emergent synergy of cryptography, peer-to-peer, anonymity, anarchism, libertarianism, wasting stupendous quantities of electricity, the [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2011/06/18/bitcoin-to-revolutionise-the-economy/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>J. K. Rowling decides &#8220;richer than Queen&#8221; not enough, aims for &#8220;Sultan of Brunei&#8221; level</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2011/06/17/j-k-rowling-decides-richer-than-queen-not-enough-aims-for-sultan-of-brunei-level/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2011/06/17/j-k-rowling-decides-richer-than-queen-not-enough-aims-for-sultan-of-brunei-level/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 Jun 2011 13:25:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Entertainment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=3460</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ORTHOGON ALLEY, Mammon Managed, Friday (fanfiction.net) &#8212; J. K. Rowling is further repackaging the dribbling arse of the Harry Potter series, in evident disbelief of old sayings about blood and stones. The final film, Harry Potter and the Deathly Lack of Further Books, is being released shortly. Rowling has carefully assembled a package to get [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2011/06/17/j-k-rowling-decides-richer-than-queen-not-enough-aims-for-sultan-of-brunei-level/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Actual jail time for being blithering idiot on Internet</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2011/06/16/actual-jail-time-for-being-blithering-idiot-on-internet/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2011/06/16/actual-jail-time-for-being-blithering-idiot-on-internet/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Jun 2011 11:20:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Technology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=3440</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[CYBERPRION, Arsebook, September (times.co.uk) &#8212; The much-maligned British justice system was lauded the world over today as someone was actually jailed for being a drooling lackwit on the Internet. Gene pool blight Joanne Fraill admitted researching the defendant she was trying as a juror, contacting the defendant during the case and telling the defendant about [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2011/06/16/actual-jail-time-for-being-blithering-idiot-on-internet/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
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		<title>UK plans cyber-weapons programme</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2011/06/02/uk-plans-cyber-weapons-programme/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2011/06/02/uk-plans-cyber-weapons-programme/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 02 Jun 2011 13:02:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Defence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Technology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=3417</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[HEY HEY 16K, R: Tape Loading Error, Thursday (NTK) &#8212; GCHQ has begun work on a range of uniquely British cyber-weapons to add to Britain&#8217;s defensive capability. &#8220;Cyber-Space,&#8221; said General Jonathan Shaw, pronouncing the hyphen between the words, &#8220;represents conflict without borders. But we can use the finest of British technical pluck to fight off [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2011/06/02/uk-plans-cyber-weapons-programme/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Bizarre benefits fraud excuses revealed by government</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/29/bizarre-benefits-fraud-excuses-revealed-by-government/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/29/bizarre-benefits-fraud-excuses-revealed-by-government/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 29 May 2011 21:51:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Finance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=3395</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[THE OSBOURNES, Bog Society, Sunday (NTN) &#8212; A survey by fraud investigators has revealed their top ten worst excuses used by the evil benefit cheats depriving you, yes you, of valuable pennies you could have put toward your next pint. &#8220;We didn&#8217;t realise the NHS needed that six billion quid, we just had to make [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/29/bizarre-benefits-fraud-excuses-revealed-by-government/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>God: Sorry, you all suck</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/21/god-sorry-you-all-suck/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/21/god-sorry-you-all-suck/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 21 May 2011 10:21:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=3355</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[DOOM, Spawn Camping, Saturday (The Word) &#8212; The Lord God, the Creator of the Universe, offered His commiserations to every soul in His Creation that they had failed to reach the standard of faith required for Rapturing today. Thousands of dedicated Christians were not uplifted bodily to Heaven, in a wave of Rapture circling the [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/21/god-sorry-you-all-suck/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Religions stimulate &#8220;Apple-like&#8221; reactions in brain</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/19/religions-stimulate-apple-like-reactions-in-brain/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/19/religions-stimulate-apple-like-reactions-in-brain/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 19 May 2011 16:10:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Technology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United States]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=3321</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ONE INFINITE LOOP, Purgatory, Wednesday (NTN) &#8212; Neuroscientists have found that religious fervour lights up the same parts of the brain as waiting in line for your devotions at the Apple Store. The scientists were interviewed by a BBC programme exploring the fantastically lucrative and popular brands springing up around the supernatural. Religions such as [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/19/religions-stimulate-apple-like-reactions-in-brain/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>Review: Train operations deckchairs to be rearranged</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/19/review-train-operations-deckchairs-to-be-rearranged/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/19/review-train-operations-deckchairs-to-be-rearranged/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 19 May 2011 15:34:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=3306</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[WOLMAR, Beeching, Thursday (NTN) &#8212; A review has found that rail fares in Britain need to be brought down using a combination of magic beans, flying unicorns, farmyard fertiliser and, of course, cuts to services and wages. The cost of running the network is 30% higher than other European railways. Stated reasons include the gross [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/19/review-train-operations-deckchairs-to-be-rearranged/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>RIM makes BlackBerry that can&#8217;t read email</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/18/rim-makes-blackberry-that-cant-read-email/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/18/rim-makes-blackberry-that-cant-read-email/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 18 May 2011 11:34:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Technology]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=3282</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[CATHEDRAL AND BIZARRE, Waterloo, Monday (NTN) &#8212; Research in Motion have broken new barriers with the PlayBook tablet, a BlackBerry that can&#8217;t read email. And needs to be tethered to a phone. &#8220;We feel a technology preview is just the thing we need to fight iPhone and Android in the consumer market,&#8221; said founder and [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/18/rim-makes-blackberry-that-cant-read-email/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
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		<title>Clegg bounces back with wizard new plans for House of Lords</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/17/clegg-bounces-back-with-wizard-new-plans-for-house-of-lords/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/17/clegg-bounces-back-with-wizard-new-plans-for-house-of-lords/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 17 May 2011 18:00:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=3261</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[PARLIAMENT OF SLIGHTLY BRUISED DREAMS, Westminster, Tuesday (NTN) &#8212; The Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, has followed up his spectacular success in the alternative vote referendum with exciting reforms for the House of Lords that no-one will care about either. The plan involves 300 members, 80% of whom are elected in a process involving, remarkably [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Microsoft opens crowdsourced legal site &#8220;CrockLaw&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/17/microsoft-opens-crowdsourced-legal-site-crocklaw/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/17/microsoft-opens-crowdsourced-legal-site-crocklaw/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 17 May 2011 08:18:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Technology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United States]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=3252</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[O&#8217;GARA UFO FIELD, Armonk, Monday (NTN) &#8212; With the final humiliation of the SCO Group and the retirement of Pamela Jones from Groklaw, Microsoft has stepped in with sponsorship to fill &#8220;a much-needed gap.&#8221; CrockLaw will be &#8220;a place where lawyers and geeks could explain things to each other and work together, so they&#8217;d understand [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/17/microsoft-opens-crowdsourced-legal-site-crocklaw/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Cameron to destroy the NHS in order to save it</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/16/cameron-to-destroy-the-nhs-in-order-to-save-it/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/16/cameron-to-destroy-the-nhs-in-order-to-save-it/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 16 May 2011 21:09:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=3243</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[OH FUCK NOT HEALTH, Bullingdon, Monday (NTN) &#8212; The Prime Minister, David Cameron, yesterday categorically denied every intention the Conservatives have had toward the NHS for the past sixty-three years. &#8220;There will be no privatisation,&#8221; he declared, &#8220;no cherry-picking from private providers.&#8221; Other Tory dreams he denied included a US-style health insurance regime, the poor [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/16/cameron-to-destroy-the-nhs-in-order-to-save-it/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
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