‘Politics’ Archives
Gordon Brown threatens Britain with fireside podcasts
GET ON UP, I Wanna Do My Thing, Sunday (NNN) — James Gordon Brown, the hardest-working Prime Minister in show business, has warned the economy to buck up its ideas and get on its feet or he will unleash his erudition in a weekly podcast. Downing Street compared the podcast to Franklin D. Roosevelt's "fireside chats" broadcast on radio in [...]
Gordon Brown promises “magical happyland of unicorns and faeries” to Labour conference
WEST PEER, Skidrow-On-Sea, Tuesday (NNN) — Gordon Brown has given a rousing speech at the Labour conference promising the loyal Party members exciting new policies, a Labour victory and other unearthly and supernatural manifestations. The carefully-vetted Party members, who had been checked for rotten tomatoes and cabbages at the door, [...]
Tory candidate not working for PR company
CASHIER'S DESK, Parliament.co.uk, Friday (NNN) — Conservatives indicated disquiet today with a candidate who was not working as a lobbyist with a public relations firm on the side. With its new emphasis on the necessity of more efficient government in these straitened times, the party has 140 prospective Tory candidates likely to be [...]
G20: Financial crisis response “worked for us”
HECK, Pennsylvania, Friday (NNN) — Leaders of the world's biggest economies have announced that they have won the financial crisis fight. "It worked," declared the Group of 20, "and will keep us in power long enough." The April G20 meeting declared that the world economy was "facing its greatest challenge in our generation. We must do [...]
Yet another amazing Bush Whitehouse tell-all released
COLORING SECTION, Bush Presidential Library, Monday (NNN) — President George W. Bush's former speechwriter Matt Latimer reveals all in a new book, Speech-Less: Tales of a White House Apologist, about what George W. Bush was really like in power. "His perception and ability were truly amazing," said Latimer. "He got so much stuff so [...]
Alan Turing apologises for Gordon Brown
BLETCHEROUS PARK, Milton Springsteen, Sunday (NNGadget) — Today, on Programmer's Day — September 13th, the two hundred and fifty-sixth day of the year — it is time for deep reflection on who we are and how we reached the current state of things. After breaking the German Enigma Machine codes during the second World War and [...]
Republican in “heterosexual” sex scandal
OLD GLORY HOLE, The Castro, Wednesday (NNN) — Michael Duvall, California Republican state assemblyman representing Orange County, has resigned his seat after being caught vividly describing lewd details about his trysts with a female lobbyist. Duvall has insisted he is "not sexual" and that the female lobbyist he spoke of is "really a [...]
Obama speech fills ears of mere children with vile propaganda
THE MANCUNIAN CANDIDATE, Kenyawaii, Tuesday (NNN) — Republican fears over Barack Obama's back-to-school speech to students have not been quelled by the release of the text. Mr Obama tells students to work hard, set goals, take responsibility for their own future, be self-reliant and diligently pursue the fruits of capitalism and free [...]
Row as Daniel Hannan praises Hitler
THE MEMORY HOLE, Wolverhampton South West, Thursday (NNN) — Labour has criticised Tory MEP Daniel Hannan for citing Adolf Hitler in an interview. Mr Hannan told Randroid magazine that the 1930s German chancellor understood "the importance of a really good motorway." He later told the BBC he was a "libertarian" on immigration, but was fully [...]
Lockerbie bomber freed for reasons other than business dealings
THE BLACK HOLE OF LOCKERBIE, The Great Game, Saturday (NNN) — FBI Director Robert Mueller harshly criticized the release of Abdelbeset Ali Mohmed al Megrahi, convicted of the Lockerbie bombing, as "a mockery of the rule of law" and "detrimental to the cause of justice engineering." Al Megrahi had been serving a life sentence for the 1988 [...]
