‘Politics’ Archives
Home Office in Internet propaganda war
TEH INTARWEB, Lolcat, Tuesday (NNGadget) — Home Office counter-terrorism experts intend to exploit nu meeja websites to "channel messages through volunteers in Internet forums" as part of a campaign to "taint the al-Qaeda™ brand," according to a document accidentally posted to Wikipedia this morning. "We understand that people on [...]
Ireland floats second EU treaty vote
DUBLIN, Sicily, Monday (NNN) — Ireland may go to the polls again for a referendum on the new European Union constitution treaty gentleperson's agreement. "I stress that this is very much only a personal view at this stage," said European Affairs Minister Dick Roche, penciling the referendum in for next June at the very latest. Irish voters [...]
UK Government loses all data on everyone
THE MEMORY HOLE, Whitehall, Sunday (NNN) — Annual reports from Whitehall departments show that the government has lost all data it ever held on anyone. Losses have occurred through couriered unencrypted disks, misplaced memory sticks, lost laptops, briefcases left on trains and files falling down the side of the tea machine. "The real [...]
UK economy comes to a complete halt; everyone gives up and goes home
CANTBEARSED, East Cheam, Friday (NNN) — UK economic growth ground to a halt between April and June, according to official statistics. Economic activity has ceased, with nothing being bought or sold. No-one has shown up to work in the last two weeks. Tube stations have been buried under uncollected copies of Metro. The populace have given up [...]
Why Obama has to get mad for us to win
PHONING IT IN, The Beach, mid-afternoon (NNN) — With the vice-presidential buzz and the Democratic convention just days away, what's most important is what Barack Obama's campaign does afterwards. Quite simply, he needs to create a more compelling narrative on change and get angry about something. Our ratings depend on it. It's August, [...]
McCain accused of plagiarising Wikipedia for Georgia speech
TEH INTARWEB, Lolcat, Sunday (NNN) — The originality of a John McCain speech about Georgia has been placed in further doubt after it was found to bear strong similarities to Wikipedia articles on the former Soviet republic. Congressional Quarterly found that two passages from a speech on August 11th were almost identical to Wikipedia, while [...]
Labour selects sock with eyes as new leader
THE GREAT STENCH, Whitehall, Tuesday (NNN) — The Labour Party has elected a sock with eyes as its leader and the new Prime Minister. The sock is a size 6-10 cotton-blend Argyle, with stick-on googly eyes from a local craft shop and a penny for a nose. The sock follows a succession of failed candidates in the top job in the wake of Tony [...]
