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	<title>NewsTechnica &#187; Politics</title>
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	<link>http://newstechnica.com</link>
	<description>a smashed keyboard full of hope and wonder</description>
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		<title>Clegg bounces back with wizard new plans for House of Lords</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/17/clegg-bounces-back-with-wizard-new-plans-for-house-of-lords/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/17/clegg-bounces-back-with-wizard-new-plans-for-house-of-lords/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 17 May 2011 18:00:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=3261</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[PARLIAMENT OF SLIGHTLY BRUISED DREAMS, Westminster, Tuesday (NTN) &#8212; The Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, has followed up his spectacular success in the alternative vote referendum with exciting reforms for the House of Lords that no-one will care about either. The plan involves 300 members, 80% of whom are elected in a process involving, remarkably [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
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		<title>US beheads hydra, saving world from terrorism</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/02/us-beheads-hydra-saving-world-from-terrorism/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/02/us-beheads-hydra-saving-world-from-terrorism/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 02 May 2011 12:35:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Asia]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=3025</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[CHRISTIANABAD, Pakistan, Monday (NTN) &#8212; President Barack Obama has announced that the hydra has been conclusively beheaded by US forces in Pakistan. Mr Obama said it was &#8220;the most significant achievement to date in our nation&#8217;s effort to defeat the hydra. We can all rest safe now.&#8221; The hydra&#8217;s head was buried at sea, to [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2011/05/02/us-beheads-hydra-saving-world-from-terrorism/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Birthers still unconvinced Obama white enough</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2011/04/30/birthers-still-unconvinced-obama-white-enough/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2011/04/30/birthers-still-unconvinced-obama-white-enough/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 29 Apr 2011 23:09:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United States]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=2976</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[KENYA, Indonesia, Wednesday (WorldNetDaily) &#8212; Barack Obama&#8217;s alleged long-form birth certificate has been declared fraudulent by the noble and patriotic &#8220;Birther&#8221; movement, who claim firm evidence that the President is insufficiently white. &#8220;I&#8217;ve seen a few Photoshops in my time,&#8221; said immigrant Birther and world&#8217;s oldest emo kid Orly Taitz. &#8220;I can tell from a [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2011/04/30/birthers-still-unconvinced-obama-white-enough/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Ed Miliband threatens to tell Scotland&#8217;s mum on it</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2011/04/28/ed-miliband-threatens-to-tell-scotlands-mum-on-it/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2011/04/28/ed-miliband-threatens-to-tell-scotlands-mum-on-it/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Apr 2011 21:17:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=2942</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[MILISECOND, Hollyshite, Thursday (NTN) &#8212; Labour leader Ed Miliband has warned that Labour is &#8220;heading for disaster&#8221; if Alex Salmond and the SNP continue their charge towards victory in next week’s elections. &#8220;The SNP will use a victory in Holyrood to press for Scottish independence, threaten the union, cause plagues of frogs and make everything [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2011/04/28/ed-miliband-threatens-to-tell-scotlands-mum-on-it/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Support for monarchy at all-time high with sunny eleven-day weekend</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2011/04/25/support-for-monarchy-at-all-time-high-with-sunny-eleven-day-weekend/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2011/04/25/support-for-monarchy-at-all-time-high-with-sunny-eleven-day-weekend/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 25 Apr 2011 18:26:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=2931</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[GOD SAVE THE QUEEN, The Beach, Monday (NTN) &#8212; Support for the monarchy has increased over the last three days, with three quarters of people saying the Royal Wedding will cheer up the country, provided the weather holds out. &#8220;The Royal Family unites the country,&#8221; said Boris Busybody, 77 (IQ), of East Cheam. &#8220;Prince Wilberforce [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2011/04/25/support-for-monarchy-at-all-time-high-with-sunny-eleven-day-weekend/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Charity pays Tories not to breed</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2010/10/25/charity-pays-tories-not-to-breed/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2010/10/25/charity-pays-tories-not-to-breed/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 25 Oct 2010 18:07:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=2671</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[SOMA, Brave New World, Monday (NTN) &#8212; Controversial charity Project Prevention is offering cut-addicted Conservatives hundreds of pounds in return for making sure they never breed under any circumstances. Their motto is &#8220;stop the problem before it happens.&#8221; But the system raises fundamental questions about people&#8217;s &#8212; and Tories&#8217; &#8212; right to have children. It [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2010/10/25/charity-pays-tories-not-to-breed/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Labour leadership election: A message to voters</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2010/09/14/labour-leadership-election-a-message-to-voters/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2010/09/14/labour-leadership-election-a-message-to-voters/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 14 Sep 2010 18:03:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=2562</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The battle over which New Labour apparatchik will lead a lame duck Labour Party to resounding defeat next election is in its death throes. The party regards it as being of utmost importance to elect a leader who will show as little sign as possible of varying from the widely popular and well-loved New Labour [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2010/09/14/labour-leadership-election-a-message-to-voters/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Tony Blair confesses to bore crimes</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2010/09/01/tony-blair-confesses-to-bore-crimes/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2010/09/01/tony-blair-confesses-to-bore-crimes/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 01 Sep 2010 22:06:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=2440</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[THE MEMORY WHOLE, London SW1A 1AA, Wednesday (NTN) &#8212; Tony Blair&#8217;s memoir, Seven Hundred Pages Of Tedious Equivocation, has caused mass outbreaks of violent ennui and destroyed the minds of the few remaining people who care. The carnage has been truly numbing. Blair has expressed his &#8220;anguish&#8221; and &#8220;regret&#8221; at the millions who, having thought [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2010/09/01/tony-blair-confesses-to-bore-crimes/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
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		<title>Atheists enthusiastically endorse Abbott&#8217;s Bible study proposal</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2010/07/19/atheists-enthusiastically-endorse-abbotts-bible-study-proposal/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2010/07/19/atheists-enthusiastically-endorse-abbotts-bible-study-proposal/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 19 Jul 2010 00:51:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Australia]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=2353</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[HECK ON EARTH, Warringah, Sunday (NTN) &#8212; Australian atheists have strongly endorsed Liberal leader Tony Abbott&#8217;s plans to make Bible study compulsory in schools. &#8220;Nothing but nothing makes people leave the church faster than actually reading the Bible.&#8221; Mr Abbott&#8217;s proposal was so that children would have a fundamental understanding of Christianity and &#8220;the great [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2010/07/19/atheists-enthusiastically-endorse-abbotts-bible-study-proposal/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
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		<title>Zac Goldsmith calls for investigation of his parents</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2010/07/17/zac-goldsmith-calls-for-investigation-of-his-parents/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2010/07/17/zac-goldsmith-calls-for-investigation-of-his-parents/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Jul 2010 22:57:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=2343</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[PEASHOOTER, Beanotown, Friday (D. C. Thomson) &#8212; Zac Goldsmith, 7, of Richmond, has engaged in a furious row over his parents&#8217; investigation into just who got into the biscuit tin, fed chocolates to the dog and wrote &#8216;ZAC WOZ ERE&#8217; in strawberry jam on the counter. Mr Goldsmith repeatedly denied he had done anything wrong [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2010/07/17/zac-goldsmith-calls-for-investigation-of-his-parents/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Census axed as accurate information declared frivolous</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2010/07/12/census-axed-as-accurate-information-declared-frivolous/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2010/07/12/census-axed-as-accurate-information-declared-frivolous/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 12 Jul 2010 21:34:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=2273</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[PROJECT MAYHEM, Westminster, Saturday (NTN) &#8212; The 2011 census could be the last held in Britain, as the new government declares it much more cost-effective to ask local councils and credit reporting agencies where you live and what your religion is. First-world countries almost all use a census every five to ten years to get [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2010/07/12/census-axed-as-accurate-information-declared-frivolous/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>World ends with Torygeddon Lite</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2010/05/11/world-ends-with-torygeddon-lite/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2010/05/11/world-ends-with-torygeddon-lite/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 11 May 2010 21:49:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=2185</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[THE SEVENTH PERFORMING SEAL, London SW1A 0AA, Tuesday (NTN) &#8212; The Queen has booked eighties revival alternative comedy act Dave Cameron to entertain the populace with nostalgia for yesteryear, with special guest Nick Clegg as slapstick fall guy. &#8220;Torygeddon Lite&#8221; opens tomorrow at 10 Downing Street, bringing you an authentic cheap imitation of those wonderful [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2010/05/11/world-ends-with-torygeddon-lite/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Wrong lizards get in</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2010/05/06/wrong-lizards-get-in/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2010/05/06/wrong-lizards-get-in/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 06 May 2010 22:16:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=2167</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[CHANNEL 4, Bravo To Zero, Thursday (NTN) &#8212; On this momentous day for British democracy, the prey of the nation have flocked to the slaughter pens in record numbers to do their bit to make sure the wrong lizards are put into power over them. &#8220;The new lizards are evil and malignant oppressors,&#8221; said prey [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2010/05/06/wrong-lizards-get-in/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
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		<title>Your super soaraway NewsTechnica cut-out-and-paste election guide!</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2010/05/06/your-super-soaraway-newstechnica-cut-out-and-paste-election-guide/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2010/05/06/your-super-soaraway-newstechnica-cut-out-and-paste-election-guide/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 05 May 2010 23:54:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Media]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=2136</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Reasons to vote Conservative: Replacing public services with volunteers and churches is necessary to inspire a new Charles Dickens. Reasons to vote Labour: Top-down central planning of society works and is effective. Reasons to vote Liberal Democrat: Everyone is middle-class now, they just don&#8217;t know it yet. Reasons to vote Green: Science is a Big [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2010/05/06/your-super-soaraway-newstechnica-cut-out-and-paste-election-guide/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Tories defend right of gay demons to vote Tory</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2010/05/05/tories-defend-right-of-gay-demons-to-vote-tory/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2010/05/05/tories-defend-right-of-gay-demons-to-vote-tory/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 05 May 2010 22:56:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=2125</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[THE MEMORY HOLE, Soho, Wednesday (Ponk News) &#8212; Controversial Conservative PPC Philippa Stroud has emphasised her belief in equality for the demons inside gay people. &#8220;Those demons are natural Tories and the backbone of our party.&#8221; &#8220;In our Big Society&#8482;,&#8221; said David Cameron, &#8220;the rights of hellish unholy ghouls will be respected just as if [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2010/05/05/tories-defend-right-of-gay-demons-to-vote-tory/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Scandal as politician tells truth</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2010/04/28/scandal-as-politician-tells-truth/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2010/04/28/scandal-as-politician-tells-truth/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 28 Apr 2010 19:02:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=2083</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[THE MEMORY HOLE, Wild Wild North, Wednesday (NTN) &#8212; Prime Minister Gordon Brown was caught telling the truth in public today, in a horrifying breach of electoral etiquette that could shake people&#8217;s faith in politicians to the core. The disgusting incident occurred while knocking on doors in Goosestep-on-the-Green, Rochdale, as, after speaking to Hausf&#252;hrer Eva [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2010/04/28/scandal-as-politician-tells-truth/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Sky poll: Clegg&#8217;s mother is Hitler</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2010/04/22/sky-poll-cleggs-mother-is-hitler/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2010/04/22/sky-poll-cleggs-mother-is-hitler/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 22 Apr 2010 21:36:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=2042</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[INCOMING, Whopping, Thursday (NTN) &#8212; A YouGov poll has revealed that Dave Cameron won tonight&#8217;s leaders&#8217; debate with 62% of the vote. A followup poll demonstrated flying pigs and Peter Mandelson voters. YouGov is noted for its scrupulous fairness and lack of Tory backers. &#8220;We felt it was right to highlight voters&#8217; concerns about Clegg&#8217;s [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2010/04/22/sky-poll-cleggs-mother-is-hitler/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Nick Clegg dossier reveals his Martian roots</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2010/04/21/nick-clegg-dossier-reveals-his-martian-roots/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2010/04/21/nick-clegg-dossier-reveals-his-martian-roots/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Apr 2010 19:47:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Media]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=2019</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[DAS BUNKER, Whopping, Tuesday (MSBBC) &#8212; Your Super Soaraway SUN has found the blueprint for Nick Clegg&#8217;s top-secret TV debate strategy in the back of a CAB, revealing he is a MARTIAN INVADER. It reveals the Lib Dem leader STOLE DNA from David Cameron to DUPLICATE his style and cover Britain in a ROBOT ARMY [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2010/04/21/nick-clegg-dossier-reveals-his-martian-roots/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Devil sells soul to Mandelson</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2010/04/03/devil-sells-soul-to-mandelson/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2010/04/03/devil-sells-soul-to-mandelson/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 03 Apr 2010 17:28:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=1941</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[THE NINTH CIRCLE, Westminster, Saturday (NTN) &#8212; Lucifer, the Angel of Light and Ruler of Hell, has undertaken an unEarthly deal with Peter Mandelson to hold on to power. In return, Hell will be able to keep one hospital, two schools and a single public toilet in the face of government cuts, although the recruitment [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newstechnica.com/2010/04/03/devil-sells-soul-to-mandelson/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Prime Minister &#8220;shocked, shocked&#8221; at lobbying revelations</title>
		<link>http://newstechnica.com/2010/03/28/prime-minister-shocked-shocked-at-lobbying-revelations/</link>
		<comments>http://newstechnica.com/2010/03/28/prime-minister-shocked-shocked-at-lobbying-revelations/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 28 Mar 2010 19:13:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David Gerard</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United Kingdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newstechnica.com/?p=1907</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[RED LIGHT, London SW1A, Sunday (NTN) &#8212; The Prime Minister Gordon Brown has called current levels of government lobbying &#8220;inconthievable&#8221; after three MPs were filmed walking the streets and waggling their arses at the cars of passing lobbyists. Former ministers Geoff Hoon, Stephen Byers, Patricia Hewitt, Adam Ingram and Richard Caborn denied any rules were [...]]]></description>
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