‘Ireland’ Archives
Irish bishop: “Sexy kids should pay”
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN ON EARTH, My Trousers, Tuesday (Vatican Rag) — Bishop Dennis Brennan has asked that the €10.5 million bill for clerical child sex abuse cases in the Ferns diocese be paid by those responsible: "Those damned sexy children." The doctrine of original sin notes that Adam was handed the apple by an altar boy, requiring [...]
Ryanair passengers fail to pay oxygen surcharge
NICKELANDIME, Stansted, Tuesday — Terrified passengers believed they were about to die as their Ryanair flight to Barcelona suffered a loss of cabin pressure and dropped thousands of feet in seconds. "We are a budget airline," said chief executive Michael O'Leary. "We deliver what the customer wants to pay for. The Intact Fuselage Surcharge [...]
Ireland floats second EU treaty vote
DUBLIN, Sicily, Monday (NNN) — Ireland may go to the polls again for a referendum on the new European Union constitution treaty gentleperson's agreement. "I stress that this is very much only a personal view at this stage," said European Affairs Minister Dick Roche, penciling the referendum in for next June at the very latest. Irish voters [...]
