‘Entertainment’ Archives
New psychotherapy to treat Strictly Come Dancing
RADIOPHONEY WORKSOP, Television Outskirts, Monday (N! News) — A new form of psychotherapy could be used to treat the majority of adults with Strictly Come Dancing disorders. Based on a form of Skinner-box aversion therapy involving electrodes and sofas, it has the potential to treat more than 80% of cases of eating disorders in adults and [...]
George Lucas to unveil lolcat Star Wars
O2 ARENA CARPARK, Millennium Doom, Sunday (N! News) — Star Wars fans are to feel the force of the seminal sci-fi films and their iconic soundtracks on stage, screen, television, Game Boy, comic book and Internet in major new releases, which will launch next year. In Star Wars: Journey To The Bottom Of The Barrel, the Royal Philharmonic [...]
Sky defends assisted suicide television show
PAGE 3, Channel 5, Wednesday (NNN) — The makers of a documentary on assisted suicide have defended their decision to film a reality TV show revolving around the concept. In I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here Permanently, Z-list celebrities are locked inside a house festooned with knives, guns, poison, copies of Virgin Killer and each [...]
Internet Watch Foundation “Crapland” closes down
WIKIALITY, Little Boring, Tuesday (NNN) — The Internet Watch Foundation's "Crapland" child-friendly Internet theme park has gone bust after only three days. An information board at the entrance depicts the classical painting Smell The Glove by Scorpionaggio (courtesy National Portrait Gallery) and welcomes the visitor on a "flight of the [...]
I’m A Cabinet Member: this year’s best jungle action
PAGE 3, Channel 5, Friday (N! News) — We've seen tears, tantrums and torturous trials, but tonight we see the last episode in this year's series of I'm A Cabinet Member, Help Me Stay In Here. From Gordon Brown asking if he could get elected by chomping on crocodile testicles to Jacqui Smith losing everyone's details in the Creepy Crawly [...]
Steven Soderbergh does “Cleopatra The Musical in 3-D”
VARIETY, Lack Of, Tuesday (N! News) — Steven Soderbergh's new musical version of Cleopatra proves an incredible box-office same-old same-old. Starring Catherine Zeta-Jones as the fishnet-clad vaudeville jazz empress and Hugh Jackman as the mutant self-healing Roman general — in 3-D! —the film carries the Ocean's Eleven franchise [...]
3D Blu-Ray coming to the home
CURRY'S ANALOGUE, The High Street, Tuesday (NNGadget) — 3D movies could be coming to your home cinema. A standard for three-dimensional content on Blu-Ray discs has been proposed by Panasonic. "Standards wars, patent monopolies and the like would seriously interfere with the widespread adoption of any 3D image standard," said Panasonic's [...]
BNP karaoke song list goes missing
BARKING, Utterly, Wednesday (NNN) — The British National Party's conference karaoke has been cancelled owing to the song list going missing. TalkSport DJ Rod Lucas has been fired. "Jonathan Ross was only suspended for twelve weeks!" Mr Lucas will be bringing suit, said his solicitor, BNP member Mr Blobby. Songs from the list include "Keep [...]
Darling on economy: “Tough titties”
PAGE 3, Financial Times, Friday (NNN) — Alistair Darling today admitted that the economy was disastrously seized up, with one in twelve London workers likely to lose their job. Across town, Nigella Lawson wore a low-cut dress revealing quite spectacular quantities of well-nourished breastage, with photos in all papers. In the United [...]
“Baader-Meinhof” blows apart box-office records
TINSELTOWN IN THE RAIN, Of Bits Of Bodies, Saturday (N! News) — Disney surfs the wave of terrorist-themed films, following Hunger and Bullet In The Head with its entry for the kids, Baader-Meinhof™: Socialist Squat Musical™. Based on Dr Alex Comfort's The Joy of Terrorism, the plot starts with Andreas Baader (Zac Efron) and [...]
