‘Asia’ Archives
BT throttles entire Internet worldwide
GRASS MUD HORSE, Tiananmen, Tuesday (NNN) — BT, Britain's biggest broadband supplier, has thoughtfully averted complete congestion of the Internet by throttling all use of the Internet on its cheapest broadband package. Customers on the I Can't Believe It's Eight Megabits package have all Internet data flow cut off entirely under its "fair [...]
North Korea demands UN apology
KIM'S HAPPY PLACE, Pyongyang, Wednesday (NNN) — North Korea has threatened to carry out nuclear missile tests unless the UN Security Council apologises for its "unseemly snickering" at their recent rocket launch falling into the sea. "The communications satellite was successfully launched and is fulfilling its mission, sending transmissions [...]
Furry dinosaurs discovered
VIVISECTOR, Furtopia, Thursday (NotScientist) — A small dinosaur that once roamed northeastern China was covered with a stiff, hairlike fuzz, which suggests that anthropomorphic perversion evolved much earlier than thought — even before the Internet. Scientists had previously identified kitten ears and fake whiskers on otherwise-cute [...]
Home Office “outraged” at CIA report on bin Laden
HIGH STREET, Peshawar, Friday (NNN) — The Home Office has expressed its grave concern at a CIA report claiming that Osama bin Laden is not at the centre of Al-Qaeda of late. "This is an outrage up with which the British people shall not put," said Home Secretary Jacqui Smith. "If Al-Qaeda were in fact merely small groups of malcontents in [...]
