CYBERPRION, Arsebook, September (times.co.uk) — The much-maligned British justice system was lauded the world over today as someone was actually jailed for being a drooling lackwit on the Internet.
Gene pool blight Joanne Fraill admitted researching the defendant she was trying as a juror, contacting the defendant during the case and telling the defendant about the jury’s deliberations. “It seemed like a good idea at the time. Lol.”
Fraill had previously come to police attention for seventeen “OMG”s, ten hopelessly misspelt status updates and, in an example the judge condemned as “one of the most egregious violations of human decency I can recall seeing,” rumours of over thirty YouTube comments.
The Internet has been hailed as the universal communication channel, allowing humanity to come together in cultural unity and mutual understanding, and bring the fruits of our collective idiocy to all. In our faces. Forever.
George Osborne announced plans to solve Britain’s economic woes with a special tax on Internet creationism, scientific racism and libertarianism, although the United States threatened to enact special laws to protect American bloggers’ constitutional right to be a fuckwit from British courts.
Despite some protests, which have been ignored for stupidity and incomprehensibility, the British public has enthusiastically embraced the moves, fully agreeing that it was about time we gave fascism a chance.
“When they came for the Trekkies, I said ‘Hey, you guys missed a couple. See, there’s one right over there.’ When they came for the spammers, I said ‘Glad to see my tax money at work!’ When they came for the AOL users, I said ‘October came late this year.’ When they came for the people who post their messages in txt spk, I said ‘So, you guys hiring anytime soon?'”