Latest featured stories
Tony Blair confesses to bore crimes
Tony Blair's memoir, Seven Hundred Pages Of Tedious Equivocation, has caused mass outbreaks of violent ennui and destroyed the minds of the few remaining people who care. [Read More]
England beats the colonies for once, really it does
The cricket world has been rocked by suggestions that Pakistan may have deliberately thrown games and England might not actually be the geniuses of sport they consider themselves. [Read More]
- Wikileaks reveals that Snape killed Dumbledore
- NHS Direct to be replaced with Internet chat sessions
- Home from Afghanistan by 2014 after the all-night rave
- Atheists enthusiastically endorse Abbott’s Bible study proposal
- Zac Goldsmith calls for investigation of his parents
- Amy Winehouse to branch out into music
- Women may have 104 hairstyles in a single edition
- Church of England controversially suggests women may be human
- Census axed as accurate information declared frivolous
- Innovation not important, says science minister
- Activision releases Video Game Hero
- Journalists back to core competencies as house prices do something
Technology
Activision releases Video Game Hero »
Activision has announced its new playalong title, Video Game Hero, in which the player immerses himself in the world of the cultural hero of the twenty-first century: the gamer. [more]
Facebook pits software against child predators »
Facebook has announced "sophisticated algorithms" to monitor its users and detect clear signs of paedophilia such as not clicking on ads, not playing Farmville or taking holy orders. [more]
Microsoft releases world’s dumbest smartphone »
Microsoft has unveiled its new Zune One and Zune Two mobile phones for unusually stupid social-networking enthusiasts in their late teens and early twenties with a higher income than their IQ. [more]
iPhone developer agreement: Eat a bug on camera »
iPhone developers are up in arms at Apple requiring them to use only Apple toolkits, sacrifice a Windows developer at their local Apple Shop every Sunday and maintain an altar to Steve Jobs in their homes. And eat a bug. [more]
United States
Activision releases Video Game Hero
Activision has announced its new playalong title, Video Game Hero, in which the player immerses himself in the world of the cultural hero of the twenty-first century: the gamer. [Read More]
Entertainment
Wikileaks reveals that Snape killed Dumbledore »
The online encyclopedia Wikileaks stands accused of revealing the ending of The Mousetrap, recklessly endangering the income of Agatha Christie's descendants. [more]
Home from Afghanistan by 2014 after the all-night rave »
Battle-weary soldiers are successfully winning hearts, minds and DJ playoffs in Afghanistan with stupendous quantities of MDMA. [more]
Amy Winehouse to branch out into music »
Celebrity gossip star Amy Winehouse will diversify her career to something to do with music, she told incredulous reporters today. [more]
United Kingdom
Tony Blair confesses to bore crimes
Tony Blair's memoir, Seven Hundred Pages Of Tedious Equivocation, has caused mass outbreaks of violent ennui and destroyed the minds of the few remaining people who care. [Read More]
- England beats the colonies for once, really it does
- Wikileaks reveals that Snape killed Dumbledore
- NHS Direct to be replaced with Internet chat sessions
- Zac Goldsmith calls for investigation of his parents
- Amy Winehouse to branch out into music
- Women may have 104 hairstyles in a single edition
- Church of England controversially suggests women may be human
- Census axed as accurate information declared frivolous
- Innovation not important, says science minister
- Journalists back to core competencies as house prices do something
- Climategate scientists inexplicably cleared
- Neo-Nazis protest co-option of English flag by football fans
- Times prepares to shake off parasites
- World ends with Torygeddon Lite
- Wrong lizards get in
Science
Innovation not important, says science minister
Science Minister David Willetts says Britain should give up this "science" rubbish and copy everyone else. "It worked for the ... Well. I'm sure it worked for someone. Look, I have a business case here." [Read More]
Climategate scientists inexplicably cleared
Climategate, announced in front-page headlines by every newspaper worldwide, has ended with the scientists involved being cleared of all accusations, as noted in passing in a single paragraph on the bottom of page 76 underneath the prostitute classifieds. [Read More]
Brown condemns Iceland over terrorist volcanoes
Prime Minister Gordon Brown has condemned Iceland's terrorist attack on British air travel and their refusal to refund tourists' air tickets. [Read More]
